


wake

by aubadechild



Series: ShuAke Confidant Week 2018 [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Cafe Leblanc (Persona 5), Canon Compliant, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 07:58:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16471784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aubadechild/pseuds/aubadechild
Summary: Two+ years post-canon, Amamiya Ren finally moves past the first stage of grief. And that, of course, is when he catches a glimpse of none other than the deceased himself standing outside the door to Leblanc fifteen minutes after closing.{ mini-fic written for Shuake Confidant Week 2018 Day Three. }





	wake

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to [closed casket](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16455590). This fic can also be found on [Tumblr](https://aubadechild.tumblr.com/post/179614380444/wake-shuake-week-day-three-neglect), if you fancy that sort of thing.

At some point he had stopped checking his phone altogether.

It was hard. Took almost a year of actively  _trying_ , of saying it aloud to himself (he’s  _dead_ , Ren; you can’t speak him back into existence so speak him out of it, anchor yourself by the finality of his absence), of even Haru (of all people) growing impatient with his failure to reconcile his stubborn hope with the truth.

She said to him over coffee one rainy afternoon: “What are you more afraid of, Ren? Accepting that he’s gone, or accepting the fact that you couldn’t save him? Because there’s a very important distinction between the two.”

And Ren couldn’t look her in the eyes for the rest of their time together, found excuses to stare intently at the carpet or attempt to divine the future from the leftover coffee grounds collected in the vague shape of a skull at the bottom of his mug.

His failure to rescue Akechi Goro in those final crucial moments called into question not only his qualifications as the then-leader of the Phantom Thieves, but also his value as a human being. Who is Ren allowed to be  _now_  if at the time he failed to protect the one person who most desperately needed the Thieves’ help? Is he entitled to mourning if he is also responsible for that which he mourns?  What is permitted to fill the space Akechi left behind?

The look on Haru’s face at his silence said it all.

What “it” was, Ren wasn’t, still isn’t entirely sure. Couldn’t put words to it. Only knows implicitly that his soul understands its shape, and that is enough. And after that conversation, after Haru asked him, spoke aloud the question with which he had subconsciously grappled for months, years—after that, he finally severed from his mind the last lingering hope.

And he stopped checking his phone.

And then, as though whatever powers-that-no-longer-be suddenly decided on a whim to wind up their ironic clockwork universe, Akechi returns to him. Just shows up at Leblanc like it’s nothing, looking a bit worse for wear and decades older but it’s him, all right; he’s still wearing the gloves…

And he even stays for coffee.

And every time Ren looks at him he thinks,  _Did no one ever teach you that you don’t have to die for something to make it love you? Didn’t you know there’s no romance in a death wish?_

Because there was a time—

Back then—

Centuries ago, perhaps—

Eons—

When Ren could have said he—

But he shakes his head, and if one can somehow pour coffee angrily, well, he does just that.

Because the curtains are drawn; the chairs are stacked atop the tables. The shop is closed for the night. Has been closed for awhile now. He has no room left in his heart for people who linger after the lights go down.


End file.
